On Anti-Universalist Arguments

Collected here, for the first time, are the best arguments against universalism. Decades of research went into this.

  • [. . .] [. . .]
  • Mercy, merit, available only because of + combination of other words, preferably some Latin, too
  • My neighbor’s dog keeps pooping on my lawn. That guy can go to hell.
  • Addendum: That guy should go to hell.
  • If there wasn’t a place of eternal misery, then that forthcoming bliss wouldn’t seem so blissful.
  • “If bliss means worshipping before the throne of Heaven, I’m not sure it’s that blissful…I don’t really like Mass.” (Note: This individual definitely deserves hell.)
  • Suicide. Those who lose all hope, that is, all hope of attaining the iPhone 8xyz w/ IMAX camera and lifestyle stabilization monitoring, need something coming to them.
  • Stet. The planet is overpopulated anyway. Suicide should be incentivized as an act of ecological martyrdom. See forthcoming encyclical.
  • Look, I’m not avoiding all of that great Internet porn for nothing . . .
  • No hell = Paradise Lost plot ruined
  • Seasons of Mist plot ruined, too
  • Most fiction ruined; good expressions lost, cf. Empire Strikes Back
  • Balthasar can’t be right
  • All dogs do not go to heaven
  • Joe won’t either. That guy sucks.
  • For the Bible tells me so.



  1. DJ Jazzy Cornelius
    June 1, 2015

    Humorless response to follow.

    There are multiple universalisms, each of which must be evaluated on its own terms, according to whatever criteria are accepted by those who wish to evaluate it.

    So for example, for Catholics Balthasar’s universalism may be a live option, but Hart’s is not (cf. Ott: “with death the possibility of merit or demerit or conversion ceases”).

    1. Gabriel Sanchez
      June 1, 2015

      I’m just being a stinker.

      1. DJ Jazzy Cornelius
        June 1, 2015

        Lol fair.

    2. Diane Marie Kamer
      June 2, 2015

      I differ from Balthasar, but is he a strict universalist? IIRC he dares to hope, but he does not dare to assert. 🙂

  2. […] is the same deal as the last post, only more serious. […]

  3. turmarion
    June 13, 2015

    I love this and am reblogging it!

  4. turmarion
    June 13, 2015

    Reblogged this on The Chequer-board of Nights and Days and commented:
    From Opus Publicum, a lighthearted summary of arguments against universalism–some of which align with some of the points I made back here.

    I don’t know that the author here actually is universalist, though he seems to take universalism seriously; and he also has this, which satirizes pro-universalist arguments. Still, I think this page is quite good and worth sharing.


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