On Pro-Universalist Arguments

This is the same deal as the last post, only more serious. Promise.

  • I don’t care for “mean God.”
  • And neither does anyone else, and I would prefer Sheila down the hall to say “Yes” when I ask her out next Tuesday.
  • Ok, I would like to fornicate with Sheila down the hall and not have to confess it the following Saturday when Fr. Rick is in the box (between the hours of 3:50p-3:55p). (That’s because Sheila is a man, h/t Tone Loc.)
  • David B. Hart believes in it and he’s never wrong about theology, philosophy, or metaphysics, cf. debate w/ Feser on natural law
  • #beheadalfeyev (w/o eternal consequences)
  • Freedom, beauty, truth, mercy, narrative, authentic reception of individualized truth, and so on and so forth…
  • Daren’t we hope?
  • People who believe in hell suffer from any number of psychological problems that renders their arguments null and void.
  • Whenever the word “hell” appears in Scripture, we have to understand it as an allegory for heaven.
  • Not “hell no” but “Hell? No.”
  • Because Stone Cold said so.
  • If it existed, surely there’d be a Terrence Malick film about it by now.
  • Deus caritas est



  1. Brandon Watson
    June 1, 2015

    Whenever the word “hell” appears in Scripture, we have to understand it as an allegory for heaven.

    I normally just lurk, but this cracked me up so much that I just had to say thanks for it.

    1. Diane Marie Kamer
      June 2, 2015

      I normally spout nonsense here, but yeah, it cracked me up, too.

  2. Aethelfrith
    June 1, 2015

    Are there seriously people who want to kill Met. Hilarion over this?

    1. Gabriel Sanchez
      June 1, 2015

      No. I guess I haven’t used that hashtag in awhile. It was a modest inside joke on Facebook and Twitter.

  3. […] here actually is universalist, though he seems to take universalism seriously; and he also has this, which satirizes pro-universalist arguments. Still, I think this page is quite good and worth […]


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